The Ice Cream Truck

We were down stairs and I heard an ice cream truck. 

Eli  "Noah do you hear that?"  

Noah  "Yes I do"

Eli - Its a beautiful sound

Noah - I wonder what it is

(I am silently laughing because I realise they have no idea what an ice cream truck is)

Eli - Maybe its a beautiful baby

Me - Guys its an ice cream truck

They look at me like im crazy, then I explained what an ice cream truck was

The Dictionary

At night we play a game with the children's dictionary.  I take the dry erase board and I make two columns one for each child.  For the game I go through the dictionary and call out words in order, then the kids have to tell me what they mean.  Some they know, some they don't.  

Me - Okay, Noah, what is a bat

Noah - Its an animal that flys

Me - Okay good, Eli, what is a bank.

Eli - Its a place you drive your car through

Noah - AND GET SUCKERS!!!!!

Me - uh, ya we get suckers there, but banks are for money, banks are where people keep money

Speed Potty Time

Eli - I am going to go tinkle really fast

Noah - Okay go really fast

Eli - No one is timing it

Noah - Ha!  No one is

Eli - I will time myself

My Body

Mom, my five year old body looks just like my four year old body - Noah

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Noah - Mom did you brush your hair?
Me - Yes
Noah - It looks good, are you going to brush it agian?
Me - yes
Noah - Don't you look really beautiful
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***sorry today is short, I am working on some more funny stories*****

Mornings

I was brushing Noah's hair and could not get it to set down on his head right

Me - ahh - your hair is so crazy

Noah - you mean adorable

Aggrivate your Sister

There's an app on Brookes Itouch for Nike and when she hits this certain button it says 

" walk around to activate your sensor" 

Well Brook hears " walk around to aggrivate your sister"

So she has been following Averi around asking " are you aggrivated? Are you aggrivated?what about now? Now? Are you aggrivated now? Averi what does this even mean???" 

This story has once agian come from my awesome cake lady - Crystal - CLICK HERE

If you have a funny story you would like listed on my blog please submit it to wesnlauramurdock@yahoo.com for review.  I will let you know what date it will appear on the blog, if it is chosen 

Massage

We were in a restaurant & Eli took his straw wrapping of of his straw.  Then he stuck it up to my neck.

I gave him a really weird look and he said

Wow - That was a weird massage

Marriage

We were driving in the car to pick up Noahs cake for his birthday.  Out of no where Eli says

"Mom I married this girl

me - really? to who (I thought he was going to say the little girl from his class)

Eli - to Cordova

Me? Cordova?  Who is that?

Eli - Shes the girl I met on the Island & we got married

Me - What? (Looking at his father in total confusion)  When did you go to the island?

(now Noah is realising this is funny) Noah - we drove there

Me - where were your father and I

Noah - It was too far, it took Eli and I about an hour to get there, and then we got married to Cordova from the Island

Darts and bed time

One day our AC went out.  And we live in Texas and it was summer.  Not a good combo.  So we made up a bed for the kids to sleep on in the formal dining area.  Well they were not sleeping.  They kept getting up and sneaking around.  Trying to get up stairs.  So I decided to set up a task force.  I told Wes to join me on the stairs where I armed him with a nerf gun.   I myself had a gun and from my vantage point I could see strait into the dining room. 

They would start to wisper and when they crept on to the tile I would shoot them with a nerf gun.  Then they would look around in bewilderment.  They had no idea where I was or where the darts were coming from, or that I could see them.  It was hysterical.  Wes job was to shoot them on the stairs if they got that far, but they never did.

Once Wes and I had amused ourself for 30 min or so we decided it was too stinkin hot to stay there & went to moms

The Night Run

Around three in the morning Eli started yelling out that his bed was wet. 

Eli - Mommy! Daddy! I had an accident, Moooomy!  Daaady.

So my husband gets up to check on him and Elis is not wet, his pull up is dry the bed is dry. But he is insistent that he had an accident.  Eli point to a quarter size drool spot on his bed.

Eli - See daddy - I had an accident

Wes - you drooled, that's not an accident

The Midnight potty run

Sometimes I get tired of changing sheets with urine on them. 

Sometimes. 

So at the suggestion of my husband I woke Noah up to go to the potty.  Now I use the words "woke up" loosely.   I picked him up from his bed and carried him asleep to the potty.  Once at the potty, I sat him on to it

which he shouted

"Mom what are we doing?" 

Then he proceeded to pee all over the bathroom (I thought by sitting him down this would be avoided....I was wrong)  So once he was done he said

"ahh that feels so much better,

 to which I erupted in laughter, but tried not to laugh too hard so I did not wake him up. Just another night being a mom

Hello Madame

A friend of mine was doing laundry when here daugher came in

Brooke (daughter) - Mom, Avery has asked me to call her Madame, and I am also her room mate, servant and butler
Crystal (mom) - really?

So my friend waited with anticipation to pick her older daughter up from dance class

Crystal - "" so Madame, who's this new room mate/servant/butler? Can you get her to do my laundry?" 

Avery - MOOOOOOM omg Brooke can't even work the washer!

Crystal - How long has this been going on?

Avery - not long, just a few days ran  small errands like getting my itouch from the kitchen and putting my shoes away

In addition to being a mom of two really funny girls Crystal runs a small cake business.  Check her out at Sugar Mama Sweets

Credit Card Please

I am tired .  Just in general, I am tired.  Saturday mornings I try to sleep in.  This one paticular night both kids had wet the bed in the middle of the night, and some how I had ended up in my sons room on the top bunk.  Occasionaly I lay down in places where it takes them a while to find me. 

Noah found me

Noah - Mom, I am hungry

Noah - Mom, I am hungry

Me - Okay, um just use your credit card and get something small

Noah - what?

Me - just use your credit card and get something small

Noah - Mom....I dont have a credit card

Me (awake now) what?

Noah - I dont have a credit card

Me - Oh ya, okay I will fix breakfast

You need to get bigger

Eli and I were out on the town and decided to stop by and visit my sister. 

After a short visit I said"Okay Eli, hug your Aunt Melanie and tell her good bye"

Eli runs over and gives Aunt Melanie a big hug

Eli  - Aunt Melanie, you need to get bigger

Melanie - What?

Eli - you need to get bigger, your too small

Me - what needs to get bigger?

Eli - her boobies

Me - and on that note we will be leaving, see you soon

Do your kids ever say anything, and they dont really know what it means?  What was it?

Wrestling

My kids were invited to a really cool wrestling birthday party at the VFW.  Once a month the VFW has amiture wrestlers come and they do a little wrestling show.  I was sure the kids were going to love it.  My husband and step dad took them.

So the Eli was telling me how awesome it was.

Eli - "mom it was so cool!"

Me - really, what happened?

Eli - We got in the ring and my friend grabed the mike and said "hey dude shake your booty", then I grabed the mike and said "Ya dudes stand up and shake your bootys!

Me - really (I knew they had gotten in the ring for pictures)  You did that?, let me check with your dad

umm, Eli Daddy says that did not happen

Eli - Oh he had stepped out for a min.

Picture by Rhonda Meridith

	http://www.thehoustonmusicreview.com/ http://www.thescenemagazine.com/ http://www.livenloudmagazine.com/ http://www.texasyellowrosephotography.com/ http://www.twitter.com/rhondameredith http://www.flickr.com/photos/meredithfamily

I almost Died

I have an back inverter

You strap your feet in at the bottom then raise your arms and it flips you upside down and its suppost to stretch out your back and help with back problems.  Its nice, however I dont use it as much as I should.  One day Noah was climbing on it and Eli came and decided to raise it up while he was on it.  Noah starts freaking out

Noah - "Eli, ELI!!! Put me down!!!

Eli just laughed

Me - Eli please put him down

Noah jumped off the machine and ran to the dog

Noah - "Oh Duke, I almost died!!!!  I love you so much!"

Do you have a pet you love so much?  What are your funny stories?

Noahs birthday party

Noah turned 5 on Feb 7th.  He had a fun party.  As you may know Noah is a Scooby-Doo addict.  And every addict needs a good cake.

I would say he loved his cake.  And it was so yummy!  Made by the fabulous sugar mamma

(281)684-2661 http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Sugar-Mama-Sweets/171930482832531?sk=info

So the next thing a Scooby addict needs is....well Scooby

and the gang.  Fred was busy solving Mysteries

But the girls stoped by, and you know Eli loves the girls

It was also pretty cool to hang out with Shaggy

Not to mention the awesome face painting

Then it was time for games

Lisa from Kikks and Giggles did such an awesome job http://www.kikksandgiggles.com/ she did all the decor, provided the characters, face painting, goody bags.  Allowing me to actually get to enjoy the party.  I highly recommend her

Presents!

Playing Scooby, Scooby, Shaggy!

Who found Velemas Glasses?

It was a blast!  Happy 5th birthday Noah!

Wow how time flys

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Information on the Character Company:

Kikks and Giggles is a Childrens Event and Entertainment company that specializes in making wonderful memories for your children. We do the complete set up to clean up for Birthday Parties we have many different themes and characters. please check out our website at www.kikksandgiggles.com or give us a call at 281-997-7284 We do the invitations/thank you's We bring the tables/chairs Linens and Decor, Plates, cups, utensils We serve the food cut the cake open gifts do a craft play games based on theme Make the goodie buckets and bring the costumes for most of the themes for the kids to dress up in. We take pictures You relax and enjoy your childs party. The cost is PRICELESS! Prices vary and are based on 10 kids you can add more to the package

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Happy Birthday to Noah!!!!!

Five years ago TODAY my little boy was born.  

Having him has made me a better person.

He has grown SO fast

Happy Birthday Baby!!!

Tongs please

My dad is a funny guy and one day one of our ducks died (yes we ended up with two..that girl I knew was my sister) So my dad dresses for the occasion.  

He came in the living room wearing:

a rain coat

rain boots

A hat

and had a pair of salad tongs in his hands.

Then he said, "im going to get the duck"

Everyone rolled their eyes, and he went out and buried the duck

Well a few days went by and my brother who was about 7 or 8 comes inside and comes to my mother and  I who are in the kitchen, then he says "SOMEBODY GET ME THE TAMPONS"

Mom: What?

Brother: The duck is dead, I need the tampons

Mom: you mean the tongs?

Me: hahahahahahahahahahaha

Brother: oh ya the tongs

me: hahahahahahah

And that is the story of tampons being confused with tongs.

I would like a duck please

A girl I knew had two boys give her dogs (the dogs still live with her mom 10 years later) 

and one boy who gave her a duck.  Yes a duck.

It was her 15th birthday and she had a party.  All her friends and her boyfriend 

were there watching her open the presents.  She had finished opening 

her presents but she knew the boy had gotten her something special

....something big....something every high school girl wants.

So he went to the back and brought her a box, shes all smiles, he places the box in her lap.

Boy: Okay open it

Girl (opens box) oh...its a DUCK...thank you I love it!

Boy: you do, I thought you would

And that is how this girl I knew got a pet duck

I look like poop

It was cold out side, so cold.  Okay it was cold for Texas weather.  Around here it goes from 70 to 30 with no notice.  I guess there is notice if you watch the news.  But I do not.  The kids were at their grandparents house and Gramps was taking them to the park.  Since they had no jackets gramps took off his hoody, rolled up the sleaves and put it on Eli.  This came with much protesting.

Eli - I dont want to wear this

Gramps - you have to

Eli - I dont want to

Gramps - if you want to play you have to

So they played, then they decided to go somewhere else.  So Gramps took off the hoody and buckled Eli into his car seat

Eli - Gramps do I have to wear this again?

Gramps - Yes if you want to play outside

Eli - This (grabbing the jacket) looks like poop gramps, it looks like poop

Gramps (shocked) - well you have to wear the jacket, or a hat

Eli  - I will wear the hat

I like to be naked

It was pizza and pajama day for the kids at school.  They were so excited.  Noah woke up and changed his pajamas, put on his shoes and was ready for school.  Noah chose to wear pajamas with the feet, the kind that are one piece and zip all the way up, and Eli chose to wear the kind with a top and a bottom The kiddos were droped off at school with no problem. 

I pick them up from school and as we are walking in the hallway I turn my head to see Noah has unzipped his pajamas, has both arms out of his pajamas and is getting naked.

Me - Noah!!!  What are you doing?  Put your pajamas back on.

There is a little girl behind us who is covering her eyes, her mom is laughing hysterically

Noah - i just like to be like this

Me - Put them on now

We continue in to the parking lot, I may have been muttering something about being mortified (I do this a lot)  I turn my head and hes got his pajamas un zipped agian, this time its like Dog the bounty hunter style, you know just the chest exposted.

Me - "Noah, I swear zip up your clothes and dont let it happen agian"

This father whipped his head around to see what child was undressing

Noah - Mom, I just like it like this

Me - Noah, keep your clothes on.

Beauty Help

I dont know what I would do with out my kiddos to give me hair tips.  

I was sitting down stairs having coffee when Eli came and sat in my lap.  He took a look at me and moved some of my hair to the left side, he made a face and said "no" then he took my hair and moved it to the right side and said "no....mom, I think you need a shower"

While I was blow drying my hair Noah pointed at a bottle of hair oil I have and said

"Mom, will this stuff calm your hair?"

Me - Yes

Noah - Good

Happy Groundhogs Day

Eli's prediction is that the groundhog is going to stick his nose out and say "Its too cold to come out and see my shaddow, I am staying in"

We will see if he is right

Stay in bed

Occasionally I do something I call creative parenting.  This was one of those nights.  We had told Noah and told him to stay in bed.  It was not working, we would hear something at the top of the stairs turn around and there he was.

I told Wes I was going up stairs (I thought I was)  then when I got to the top of the stairs I had an idea.  I yelled down "I have decided to come back downstairs!" then I crouched and waited.  It did not take long.  About three minuets later Noah comes to the top of the stairs

Me - BOOOO

Noah - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me - What are you doing?

Noah -WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Me - Im not the one out of bed

Noah - (laughs) mom you did not scare me at all

Me - ya, get in bed