Church

The kids went to church tonight with my mom, then she took them to Jack in the Box.  As they are sitting there they have the following conversation:
Gran - what did you learn about tonight?
Noah - God and Jesus
Gran - What about them?
Eli - (moves inches from her face and talkes in a deep voice) we learned about the hand of God coming out of the sky and grabbing people.
Noah - we did not learn about that

His pet Ant

We recently had a death of a very close friend in our family.  I was telling my boys that Mr. John passed away and went to heaven.  My older little boy was immediatly concerned about his friend, he said "mom! where is Jacob? WHO IS PROTECTING JACOB?"  I said "his aunt is" then he started cracking up.  I said "whats so funny?"  he said "Jacob has a giant pet ant that protectes him?"  I said "no you goof ball,he has an aunt, like your aunt melanie, who protects him"

***On a sad note, our friend lost his three year battle to cancer.  He leaves behind two very small children and his beautiful wife, who is also my very dear friend.  The family has set up a fund for his wife and children.  If you would like to make a donation to the Laird Family it can be done at any chase bank. The John W Laird Fund Account Number: 918720111****Thank you****

Thanks Again Ke$ha!

Encase you cant tell I have a deep hatred for Ke$ha.  She gets on my last nerve.  I don't know what it is exactly.  Maybe its the running around half naked or the over synthesized voice, but I cant stand her.  I mostly listen to Christian music in the car with the boys, i would say about 98% of the time.  The other 2% of the time I listen to a 90's station or Country music.  So one day Noah was singing Alan Jackson's "Little Bitty" and I was surprised, but I thought maybe he heard it at the Rodeo, or with me in the car.  But I was still a little shocked because I thought there was no way he had heard it enough to memorize it.

So you can imagine my horror when I hear Noah walking down the hallway singing "I wake up in the morning felling like P. Diddy" then Eli is like "I wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy"
Me - What?  Where did you here this?  Noah who has a radio that you know (what an odd question..um everyone mom)
Noah - what?
Me - where did you hear that song?
Noah - Oh a kid at school was singing it

Really?  I was not prepared for this, I mean I remember all the stupid chants I learned in elementary school were all from word of mouth, but I could (cant) not believe that a kid in school is singing a song and Noah remembers it.  Just from him singing it.
Crazy

Men

Have you ever been told things like "honey you are so beautiful you dont need make up?"  I always thought these comments were just ploys to get me not to spend money on beauty products ( I could have a few issues)  So imagine my suprise when I was packing to go on our family vacation and my son walks in the room looks at my suite case and says 

"mom how are we ever going nto get this suite case shut?

Me - DOnt worry honey, I will figure it out 

I glance in his direction just in time to see him remove my make up bag

Noah - Mom we will just leave this here

Me - Noah, it will shut, put the make up back

The Tattoo

When I was 18 years old I decided it would be a good idea to get a tattoo.  Honestly I had decided it was a good way to show my parents that I could do something that they could not change.  I was an adult - you know.  I did not stop to think that, if they could not change it that ment that I could not change it either.  So here I am at 30 with a tattoo I got when I was 18.

My kids find it intreaguing.  It has been the topic of many a conversation.

Eli - Mommy, whats that? whats that?  Turtle on back, turtle

Me - Yes honey mommy has a turtle on her back

Noah - Swim little turtle! swim!

Do you have any tattoos that you wish were not there?

Hello Pretty Lady

Noah and I were at Krogers and he was about 18 months old.  We were leaving the store, and were behind this lady who was about 90. She was moving really, really slow, and we could not pass her.  When we got a chance to pass her I took it, I grabed his hand and walked faster to pass her.  Right as we are about to walk past her I see my little boy reach out his hand and smack her on the bottom 

Then he said

"Hello Pretty Lady" 

Mortified does not accurtaly describe how I felt.  

Here is a picture of Noah from around that time with some pretty ladies:

Mouse in the House

I’d been sick and was taking a nice nap when I was awakened by this

MOM there is a mouse in the house! MOM there is a mouse in the house!

I was not totally taken off guard but I thought they had seen it.

Me: what?
Noah: there is a mouse in the house, but don’t worry we are going to catch it
Me: what?
Eli: ya we have our mouse catching stuff on

Me: What?

Kids: Look mom gloves and stuff

(note jewerly box to place caught mouse in & gloves to protect their hands)

After taking a look at their get-up I realised they had thought of everything and sent them down to their dad.